Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Happy "would have been" Anniversary

Today "would have been" mine and Chuck's 9th anniversary together. It's been the hardest 10 days without him. 10 days of tears. But I'm ok, as ok can be. I went to the grocery store the other day and a song came on. The words hit me so hard. Trace Adkins - "Help Me Understand". I started crying in the store. I wanted to run out. But I paid for the groceries and left. People looking at me like I was crazy.

On our first date, Chuck took me to the Grottos. Because I love Angels. He said it was a test. That if I loved this place, we would be fine. It was a beautiful place. So peaceful. Our first kiss was by the statue by the entrance. Was so afraid the Nuns would come running after us - so funny! Then he took me to the Elizabeth Ann Seaton Center. Another beautiful place to visit. After our visit there, he took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner - Cracker Barrel!

Only memories now to hold onto now........

I thanked God everyday for the past nine years for bringing Chuck into my life, only to be gone in a heartbeat. I'm going to the Grottos today to visit memories and thank God for letting me have these past nine years with Chuck and pray for peace, healing, and understanding.

My family and friends tell me to let go, there's nothing more I can do. I will always love him. There will be no other. But my heart isn't ready to let go.

Happy "would have been" Anniversary Chuck - I will always love you!

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