Sunday, March 27, 2011

Day for Beth

Yesterday was a Day for Beth. I went to the Green Valley Book Fair, which opened yesterday. They were really busy! And lots and lots of great books! I went for 3 things: the crochet books, Amish fiction and cookbooks. A little disappointed on the crochet books - nothing caught my eye. And the $1.00 pamphlets were ones from last year, and not that many. So on to the Amish books - I forgot to write down the ones I already had, but found 3 I didn't have for $4! I really love reading my Amish fiction books! Next - cookbooks! I found a casserole cookbook fix it and forget it (easy for me! hahaha) and a Amish cookbook with lots of good recipes in it! Can't wait to try them! Then I found a beautiful glass picture frame that has flowers on it and the words "Mom" etched on it. I got it and know just the picture I'm putting in it. So it was a nice time at the book fair!

From there, I drove to Luray and sat at my Mom's grave for over an hour. Sat and cried, talked to her, and scratched off 5 Lottery tickets. My Mom loved to get scratch off tickets and she ALWAYS had the luck! So I stopped at 7-11 and picked up 5 to scratch off at the cemetery. Well, she didn't leave me any luck, we lost on all 5 tickets! But I had fun sitting there! Before I left, I gathered up some of the rocks that were tossed around in the dirt. I spelled out "mom" over her name plate. It's something I had to do. I can't wait to get her a head stone. I hated to leave, but I left and went over to her house. More tears. Didn't stay long there, so headed back home.


A friend has been wanting me to go with her to Never Enough Yarn, here in Winchester. A wonderful YARN store for those with champagne taste! I have a water purse! hahaha People can stop in and knit on Saturdays and Sundays. So being a new knitter, I went today. They opened at 12 noon and I left around 3pm. Had the best time and met some wonderful ladies! Experience knitters across the board. Got 3 new patterns and learned some new stitches and techniques. Had alot of fun and just daydreamed looking at all the beautiful yarn. No, I didn't get any - can't afford it! But had a really nice time out. So glad I went. I wanted to stay home and cry some more. Just so lonely without Mom here and no man in my life. (My trust in men is just shattered right now.) But I had a nice time! Chris brought me some homemade veggie soup, so will have that for dinner tonight. I'm so blessed to have Chris as my friend. She a Joyce have helped me thru alot lately. Wet shoulders from crying and all!

So...piddling around the house this evening and off to my interview tomorrow. Fingers crossed and prayers I get it! It's a nursing job in Maryland. (They pay nurses more in MD than VA and right now I need every penny I can get! Mom only had a $1000 policy and I have a big bill to pay! I'm not complaining - she's my Mom! Anything for my MOM!)

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Girl's Night Out!

I was invited to a "Girl's Night Out" at a friend's house last night. She invited several ladies to crochet, knit, eat - whatever! I had the BEST time! We had the best food and then put on our jammies and sat and crocheted, talked, and listened to the 80's music. She had 3 baskets of yarn out for us to pick and choose what to use and make things with - didn't put a dent in it! hahaha When we first got started crocheting, Penny made Beer Bread for all of us. It was so delicious! I had a slice with spinach dip on it for breakfast! Yum, yum! Chloe and the boys kept us entertained, China stayed to herself (Chris's dogs). It was alot of fun and we got alot of things crocheted! Can't wait till we can do this again!!! Took pictures of the food and forgot pics of all of us working - was having too much fun!

Monday, March 14, 2011

10 Years and This Is All I Get?

....a card...a simple card... that I did not open...

I spent 10 years of my life with this man. I loved him with all of my heart. I did what he wanted and asked of me. I never cheated on him, lied to him, stole anything. I was there for him.

My Mother had her surgery December 3, 2011 and he was not there for me. He was busy putting in a kitchen floor with a friend for a wife who can't stand him. She told me she "tolerates" him because he is a friend to her husband. All I got was excuses. No gas, no money for gas, don't get paid till the 15th. My Mom had a heart attack - didn't show up to be with me or Mom. She even asked about him several times. I wrote to him on the 15th to see if he was coming to visit my Mom. He was going to work late that day and going to NC to see his son graduate and wouldn't be back late Saturday. That is the LAST thing I have heard from him. I've tried several times to write to him, call him, text him, no reply at all. Just dropped off the earth as far as it comes to me and my Mom. Mom asked about us one time when she was in the hospital and I had to tell her he was gone with no explanation at all.

How can a Christian man, a Catholic man, do such a thing? I never did anything wrong to him or his family to deserve to be treated this way! I wrote to his Mother, trying to get her to see what was going on, hoping she would help him, knowing it would break her heart to hear and see what her son was doing - yet I am the worst person in the world. The entire family turned on me. He does no wrong!

I personally blame Facebook. He got on there and started playing games and then meeting women. He broke up with me twice over women on Facebook. Then the gambling at 8 different casinos. But he doesn't have a problem, so he thinks and tells everyone. Regardless what anyone says: He is a lost soul and he needs help. He needs lots of prayers. But they won't come from me anymore. I can't. He hurt me, my family, and my Mom. And he has to live with it and will face our Heavenly Father one day and be held accountable for this. No confession on earth will amend the pain he has caused to me and my family. Just as I will have to face my Heavenly Father and be held accountable for the pain I hold in my heart now. The anger I have inside over what he did to my Mom and my family. What I say and speak is the God's Honest Truth. I have no reason to lie. My trust has been shattered and I will live a lonely world to protect my heart from being broken again.

Yet today, I get a card in the mail. A simple card is supposed to erase the pain and show his sorrow in the passing of my Mother? After all that he did?


Sunday, March 13, 2011

March 5, 2011 - I lost my Mom...

Sylvia M. Parsons

Sylvia Maxine Parsons, 74, of Luray, died on Saturday, March 5, 2011, at Winchester Medical Center.

She was born on April 14, 1936, in Stanley and was a daughter of the late Fred Lee and Lonnie Irene Taylor Seal.

Mrs. Parsons was a member of the Luray Christian Church, Disciples of Christ. She worked in the housekeeping department for Page Memorial Hospital for 10 years.

She is survived by a daughter, Elizabeth Irene Parsons of Winchester; and three grandchildren. She was preceded in death by two sisters, Gladys Seal and Thelma Seal; three brothers, Robert, Virgil and Orley Seal; and one great-grandchild.

A funeral service will be conducted at 2 p.m. on Thursday, March 10, at the Bradley Funeral Home by the Rev. Stan Peerless. Burial will be in Evergreen Memorial Gardens in Luray.

The family was to receive friends from 7-8 p.m. on Wednesday, March 9, at the funeral home.

~My Mom had diverticulitis with a perforated bowel. She had surgery December 3, 2010. A week later she started having chest pains and was taken to the ICU. 36 hours later, she had a heart attack and coded. They got her back. She was a patient of the Cardiac ICU for a couple weeks and then onto the surgical floor. She was in the hospital for 6 weeks. She then went to rehab at Rose Hill in Berryville, VA. She had an infection was as being treated for it the entire time from her discharge from the unit to the very end. From there, was a roller coaster ride for my Mom. She was at rehab for about a week and went back to the hospital for GI bleeding. Stayed for awhile and went back to rehab. Stayed there for about another week and went back to the hospital with double pneumonia. Got her fixed up again and went back to rehab. Was there for about another week and then went back to the hospital for GI bleeding, this time was worse. Got her straightened out and went back to rehab. When she returned, she still wasn't feeling that well. Her stomach was bothering her and she she didn't want to eat. She then started vomiting and her blood pressure was really low. On Friday, March 4th, I received a call that they were sending her back to the hospital. She was taken back to the ICU. They put in a central line because she was so dehydrated. Middle of the night, they did a femoral line to monitor her blood pressure. I received a call at 7am from her Dr saying they were going to intubate her and take her to emergency surgery. The bowel was infected and they needed to take it out. The last thing Mom said to me in the ER was "I love you too". I was told she would not make it thru the surgery because of the infections she had. But she did. She was with us a couple hours and then the Pastor came to me and told me there was alot of activity in her room, they are doing CPR. They got her back again, but having a time with her BP. She was hemorrhaging and they were putting blood in as fast as they could give it. They said they could take her back to surgery, but she would die on the table. It was that bad...I told them to stop. I told them to stop....At 4:13pm Saturday March 5th, she passed away while I was holding her hand. I hate being a nurse in times like this - you know too much. And I know my Mom did NOT want to be like this. God love her, she told me to rip up the DNR in the ER Friday night.

She had went thru hell all because a Doctor would not order a simple test - a colonoscopy. She paid a very high price of pain and suffering in result of this. Yes, she had other health issues, but did not have to go thru all of this.

As for me, I would not have changed a thing taking care of my Mom. She has been with me for 6-7 years. She was my Mom. And she would have done the same for me. Because we loved each other. She was my Mom. But I wish I could have done more for her. She was my best friend and the Best Mom ever. I am so proud and honored to have her as my Mom. And I miss her so much.

At the funeral, I got to sing "Amazing Grace" to her before they closed the casket. It was shaky and thru alot of tears, but I did it. She loved listening to me play the piano, especially that song.

Thank you Mom, for being my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, the best Grandmother to Chris, Steven and Matthew, and the best GG to Hayden. I know you two are having fun in Heaven together making up for lost time! But most of all - thank you Mom for being my Mom! We shared alot of laughs and tears, went thru alot of good times and bad, but we were always together. I learned alot from you. Thank you Mom! I love you and miss you so much. It's not home here without you. And I sure am lonely without you. But I'll be ok, I hope! I love you, Mom, forever and always! 318