Monday, March 14, 2011

10 Years and This Is All I Get?

....a card...a simple card... that I did not open...


I spent 10 years of my life with this man. I loved him with all of my heart. I did what he wanted and asked of me. I never cheated on him, lied to him, stole anything. I was there for him.

My Mother had her surgery December 3, 2011 and he was not there for me. He was busy putting in a kitchen floor with a friend for a wife who can't stand him. She told me she "tolerates" him because he is a friend to her husband. All I got was excuses. No gas, no money for gas, don't get paid till the 15th. My Mom had a heart attack - didn't show up to be with me or Mom. She even asked about him several times. I wrote to him on the 15th to see if he was coming to visit my Mom. He was going to work late that day and going to NC to see his son graduate and wouldn't be back late Saturday. That is the LAST thing I have heard from him. I've tried several times to write to him, call him, text him, no reply at all. Just dropped off the earth as far as it comes to me and my Mom. Mom asked about us one time when she was in the hospital and I had to tell her he was gone with no explanation at all.

How can a Christian man, a Catholic man, do such a thing? I never did anything wrong to him or his family to deserve to be treated this way! I wrote to his Mother, trying to get her to see what was going on, hoping she would help him, knowing it would break her heart to hear and see what her son was doing - yet I am the worst person in the world. The entire family turned on me. He does no wrong!

I personally blame Facebook. He got on there and started playing games and then meeting women. He broke up with me twice over women on Facebook. Then the gambling at 8 different casinos. But he doesn't have a problem, so he thinks and tells everyone. Regardless what anyone says: He is a lost soul and he needs help. He needs lots of prayers. But they won't come from me anymore. I can't. He hurt me, my family, and my Mom. And he has to live with it and will face our Heavenly Father one day and be held accountable for this. No confession on earth will amend the pain he has caused to me and my family. Just as I will have to face my Heavenly Father and be held accountable for the pain I hold in my heart now. The anger I have inside over what he did to my Mom and my family. What I say and speak is the God's Honest Truth. I have no reason to lie. My trust has been shattered and I will live a lonely world to protect my heart from being broken again.

Yet today, I get a card in the mail. A simple card is supposed to erase the pain and show his sorrow in the passing of my Mother? After all that he did?

Why???

2 comments:

~Niki~ said...

I got a divorce in 1999 and still feel quite empty from that whole experience. I am now remarried and happy, but the pain never leaves me. He cheated on me, left me with 2 little kids, ages 2 and 4. I won't forgive for that. And I should. I should 'give it to God' and be done. How? I don't have much to say, other than I've been there. the first year is the hardest~after that it gets a bit better by the year, BUT I will never forgive him for that. Just to leave me, and cheat. now he is remarried with another kid. he swore he hated being married and definitely would not have another one. the boy is now 2. WHY? why are some people like this? big hugs.

Hookin It With Mr. Lick Lick said...

He's obviously not even worth the chances you gave him. And he obviously had some guilt too or he wouldn't have even sent a card. And he's probably telling his family his pack of lies and who are they going to believe? Blood is definitely thicker than water. Don't waste any more time on him, he's not worth it. I know...it's easier said than done. Been there, done that.