I miss my little Hayden so much!

This is one of the pictures of Hayden before he got his bone marrow transplant. He wasn't allowed to play on the floor, so they had to put a mat down on the floor for him. He was hooked up to IV's, so he couldn't go far either! But that nite I came to visit, he had his pillow and blanket on the mat and wanted me to lay down with him and go nite nite. So I did! We laid there for a short time and then got up to play. I will never ever forget that visit. My heart is aching so bad. I can't stop crying, afraid to go to sleep. I walk into Wal-Mart and see things that remind me of him and I break out crying. I can't even look at a package of Oreo Cookies and I cry. We loved to eat Oreo cookies together. I'd tell Hayden "You know I'm going to get fat eating these cookies, right?" He'd say "yep!" I can't accept that he is really gone from all of us. It tears my heart up to see my son grieving over the loss of his son, Trish over the loss of her son and how she had to watch Hayden's health turn from good to bad the entire time in the hospital, my Mom over the loss of her great-grandson, and my other 2 sons over the loss of their nephew. All over the hands of one careless person. Took him from us, before his time. When I go to bed now, I hold his blanket near to me. It smells just like him. I know in time that precious smell will be gone. But it's all I have to hold onto now. Yes, I know I'm a grown woman. But that is all I have left of Hayden to hold onto...his Cars blanket. Forgive me Chris and Trish for taking it. I miss holding my Baby! I love you Hayden!

Hayden's Celebration of Life 3/23/10

Hayden's Celebration of Life will be held Tuesday, March 23rd at 3pm at Brown Funeral Home in Martinsburg, WV. Hayden's obit is listed online at the Funeral Home and you can write a note to the family!

Hayden has gone to Heaven ^i^

Hayden passed away yesterday, March 17th, 2010, at 7:08 pm at Children's Hospital in Washington, DC. He had been in the hospital since January 25th, a day after his third birthday. I just don't know what to say right now except they took him from us. I'll explain more later, but they had to intubate him and when they did, they punctured his lung and he bled out. His vitals dropped and he coded. They worked on him for almost an hour and he was already gone. I got there 6 minutes after they pronounced him. Not fair. They took our baby from us. It was the worst ride home in my life. We had to clean out his room and we put it all in my car so her parents could take them home. To look in my rear view mirror and see his favorite cozy car - just killed me. I just can't stop crying. I will never hold my Hayden in my arms ever again. The memories are eating me up right now, but I know in time they will comfort me. My heart aches so bad for Chris and Trish. No mother should have to watch her child go thru that. She was the best mother. And Chris was the best dad. Hayden was very lucky and very loved by many.

I love you forever and always Hayden Isac Parsons. Eat some Oreo cookies with Jesus!

I GOT A JOB!!!

I am so excited!!! I will be working as a LPN at Somerford Assisted Living in Hagerstown, MD. It's about 45- 50 minutes to work. And not far from my last employment. This Friday is my physical and drug test, then Tuesday, I begin Orientation. It's only part-time evenings, but I have my foot in the door! I finally got a job! My shoulders feel a little lighter now!

Hayden's bone marrow transplant is scheduled for March 5th...my last day of orientation. I promised I would be there, but Chris understands. Sure will be a rough day for me. But I told him as soon as I clock out - I'm heading to DC to be with them all!

My visit with Hayden!

25 years ago, I SWORE I would never drive through Washington, DC. Well, I did yesterday - right through 5 o'clock traffic! Just to go see my Hayden!!!

I was a nervous wreck driving thru that garbage!!! I was 6 minutes from the hospital and it took me an hour to get there! I had the BEST time with Hayden! He has gained weight and looks so good! He's talking more and asking more questions too! :) We played cars, camped out on the floor with his pillow and blanket watching tv, ate Oreo Cookies... visiting hours were over at 8pm....I didn't leave till 10pm! Oops! No one said a word! But what broke my heart was when I was leaving he told me "don't go" 4 times. I got to the car and lost it. I finally made it out of Dodge and got onto familiar roads - took the long way home! I had the best time - just way too short! Got pictures and a video...just waiting on my computer to get fixed!!! Can't wait till Friday to see him again! Chris and Trish are going out for a while to give her a break from the hospital. They could stay out for hours, I wouldn't mind! :)

Update on Hayden

Hayden was sent to ICU last week because his potassium level dropped really low. He's wasn't there but a couple days and back to his room. Yesterday, his other Grandma shaved all his hair off. So it won't be a shock when it does start falling out. Today, he goes to surgery to have a "stomach tube" placed into his stomach. Trish was told that this helps kids going thru this since they don't want to eat while going thru this treatment. They can feed him thru this tube so he doesn't lose any more weight and hopefully "fatten him up" some!

I'll be honest here, my heart is just breaking. To hear my son talk, when I give him hugs. He has to work and take care of his family. But he wants to be with Hayden so bad. We all will be so glad when this is all over with and Hayden can be a little boy again and doing what boys do!!!

Thanks to everyone for all your continued prayers!

Chemo for Hayden begins tomorrow....

Trish had a meeting with all the doctors yesterday. They have decided to move ahead as planned with Hayden's Chemo and bone Marrow transplant. He will receive chemo for one week, take a break and then he will get his bone marrow. Trish says Hayden is in good spirits, flirts with the nurses, and has even gained 4 1/2 pounds! He ate his first hamburger the other day and loved it! (He never would eat them before!) The Dr's told Trish they feel good about the outcome for Hayden and looking to go home the first of April!

Thanks to everyone for your prayers - please keep them going!